Things I Want To Punch In The Face

So, when I was last visiting my parental units, I was reading the Reader's Digest and they had a "Best of America" section that I think they do once a year. Anyway, they had a list of four or five favorite websites/blogs and there was one called Things I Want To Punch In the Face. (If you go looking for the site, be warned that there is some swearing. Just a FYI) The author of the blog had some friends write in and make a list of 10 things that they want to punch in the face. I know I have used this phrase so I am going to steal her idea and make my own list. (So the original idea was only to make this 10 things long, but I have recently felt the need to add to it)

Things Sharee Wants To Punch In The Face:

1. People who make up parking spaces. I'm talking to you man in the big white pickup that I had to do a 20 point turn around to get out of the parking lot last weekend because apparently it was too hard to park on the other side of me.

2. People who don't make space for you when you turn on your blinker. There's a reason I'm turning on my blinker so I don't have to cut you off later so I can make my turn.

3. People constantly talking about their latest dieting venture. I'm glad that you're interested in self improvement but I simply don't care about the details. If this is your idea of a conversation starter, hurry and take some remedial courses because you're making me want to punch you in the face.

4. People who can't check their text/e-mail/poster/etc. without checking their spelling and/or grammar. Yes, spell check does do a lot to help you but for the love of all that is good and holy, read over it and think it through before you send or post that information for others.

5. The people who smoke right outside my apartment door. You made the decision to smoke, not me, so please don't share with me or I will punch you in the face.

6. Dryer lint. Seriously, you would think that your clothes would eventually run out of lint or fall apart when you pulled them out of the dryer. It's ridiculous.

7. People calling everything that's not a car a 'truck.' For the love people, they are Range Rovers, Jeeps, SUVs, etc. Just because it is bigger than a car does not make it a truck.

8. Telemarketers. I understand that you're just doing your job and in this economy, you take what you can get but when I say "I'm not interested" the first time, I mean it. When I get to the fourth and fifth time, I want to a) Hang up on you, b) Let out a string of swear words a sailor would be proud of, or c) punch you in the face

9. People calling me "ma'am." I have been told that I look older than I am but for the love, I'm 23 years old. Calling me "ma'am" makes me instantly feel 30 years older and want to show you how hard a 53 year old can punch you in the face.

10. People who never complain. I appreciate that you are trying to be the bigger person but you can't be that happy all the time. I want to punch you in the face simply to give you something to complain about.

11. Cricket Wireless. Apparently, in an effort to make their wireless plans cheaper, you can opt not to pay for voicemail. And if you're like me, you don't pick up unknown numbers unless someone leaves me a voicemail. So why on earth would you not pay for voicemail and not pick up numbers you don't recognize? Spring for the voicemail so I can leave you a message when I'm trying to get ahold of you!

12. Random people trying to sell me tamales in parking lots. This is an especially heinous offense when I randomly go to the store later in the evening. I'm not interested in your freaking tamales especially when you hover around my car waiting for me to get out or you follow me out of the store. I will punch you in the face.

Ah, I feel better. There are things on this list that may come or go but enjoyed sharing this punch list. Enjoy.