"How long does the planet have?" "Minutes, sir. Minutes"

So I finally bought my first reusable shopping bag the other day. Now before all of you start yelling "You're killing the planet!" let me explain myself. It's not that I don't think it's important to be environmentally conscious, but I have had no desire to buy a bag from annoying salespeople. I am one of those shoppers who wants to be wooed into buying something. Granted, it doesn't take much to woo me (Example conversation: Salesperson - If you buy three million candy bars, you get one free. Me - I'm so in! What happens if I buy four million?) So I've know for a while that Target gives you off a few cents off your purchase anytime you use your reusable bags and I planned on getting one from them. When I went to the store one early morning about 9 months ago, I had planned on getting a reusable bag. As I went to check out, the salesgirl asked me if I wanted to purchase a reusable bag. Now this doesn't seem like a big deal but when she asked me, she acted so annoyed that she even had to ask me about the reusable bags that I wanted to say. "No, in fact. I'm trying to kill the planet as fast as I possibly can. In fact, could you double bag everything just to be sure?" I wish I would have taken a video of her saying that so you could get the full effect of her annoyance.

So what did the salesperson do this time to woo me? She simply said, "Do you want to purchase a reusable bag today? It gives you five cents off each time you use it." Great job at wooing saleslady. I hope to purchase from you again. Now 'the planet can thank me' and I can 'go green' as my new bags say.

Also, I had my eyes dilated for the first time earlier today. I don't think I'll be able to make fun of people who wear sunglasses in the store as easily anymore because I couldn't see without them on. Also, that's the closest I ever want to be feeling high without actually being high.

I look like a creeper.