Things I Want To Punch In The Face

So, when I was last visiting my parental units, I was reading the Reader's Digest and they had a "Best of America" section that I think they do once a year. Anyway, they had a list of four or five favorite websites/blogs and there was one called Things I Want To Punch In the Face. (If you go looking for the site, be warned that there is some swearing. Just a FYI) The author of the blog had some friends write in and make a list of 10 things that they want to punch in the face. I know I have used this phrase so I am going to steal her idea and make my own list. (So the original idea was only to make this 10 things long, but I have recently felt the need to add to it)

Things Sharee Wants To Punch In The Face:

1. People who make up parking spaces. I'm talking to you man in the big white pickup that I had to do a 20 point turn around to get out of the parking lot last weekend because apparently it was too hard to park on the other side of me.

2. People who don't make space for you when you turn on your blinker. There's a reason I'm turning on my blinker so I don't have to cut you off later so I can make my turn.

3. People constantly talking about their latest dieting venture. I'm glad that you're interested in self improvement but I simply don't care about the details. If this is your idea of a conversation starter, hurry and take some remedial courses because you're making me want to punch you in the face.

4. People who can't check their text/e-mail/poster/etc. without checking their spelling and/or grammar. Yes, spell check does do a lot to help you but for the love of all that is good and holy, read over it and think it through before you send or post that information for others.

5. The people who smoke right outside my apartment door. You made the decision to smoke, not me, so please don't share with me or I will punch you in the face.

6. Dryer lint. Seriously, you would think that your clothes would eventually run out of lint or fall apart when you pulled them out of the dryer. It's ridiculous.

7. People calling everything that's not a car a 'truck.' For the love people, they are Range Rovers, Jeeps, SUVs, etc. Just because it is bigger than a car does not make it a truck.

8. Telemarketers. I understand that you're just doing your job and in this economy, you take what you can get but when I say "I'm not interested" the first time, I mean it. When I get to the fourth and fifth time, I want to a) Hang up on you, b) Let out a string of swear words a sailor would be proud of, or c) punch you in the face

9. People calling me "ma'am." I have been told that I look older than I am but for the love, I'm 23 years old. Calling me "ma'am" makes me instantly feel 30 years older and want to show you how hard a 53 year old can punch you in the face.

10. People who never complain. I appreciate that you are trying to be the bigger person but you can't be that happy all the time. I want to punch you in the face simply to give you something to complain about.

11. Cricket Wireless. Apparently, in an effort to make their wireless plans cheaper, you can opt not to pay for voicemail. And if you're like me, you don't pick up unknown numbers unless someone leaves me a voicemail. So why on earth would you not pay for voicemail and not pick up numbers you don't recognize? Spring for the voicemail so I can leave you a message when I'm trying to get ahold of you!

12. Random people trying to sell me tamales in parking lots. This is an especially heinous offense when I randomly go to the store later in the evening. I'm not interested in your freaking tamales especially when you hover around my car waiting for me to get out or you follow me out of the store. I will punch you in the face.

Ah, I feel better. There are things on this list that may come or go but enjoyed sharing this punch list. Enjoy.

Ice Cream anyone?

I feel the need to rant a smidgen. So I live in a relatively large apartment complex with at least 20 buildings. And there are quite a few children who live here. After I moved here last summer, I noticed that a man drove around in an ice cream truck in the mid to late afternoon. Well, a couple of weeks ago he started up again and I remembered why I hate the ice cream man. I work night shifts and so I'm usually taking a nap until about 5 pm when i have to get up to go to work. I swear this ice cream truck man comes by EVERY time right before I go to sleep or in the last few minutes of my nap when I'm trying desperately to sleep just a little longer. Now, it wouldn't be annoying if he just drove by and then left but he ALWAYS sits in the parking lot waiting for at least 10 minutes with his music on. Now I'm not one to yell at people about their choice of music but how can he sit there and listen to a high-pitched version of "Go Tell Aunt Roady" and "It's a Small World" over and over again? If I can get a picture of him, I'll post it so you can see just how creepy he looks.

"How long does the planet have?" "Minutes, sir. Minutes"

So I finally bought my first reusable shopping bag the other day. Now before all of you start yelling "You're killing the planet!" let me explain myself. It's not that I don't think it's important to be environmentally conscious, but I have had no desire to buy a bag from annoying salespeople. I am one of those shoppers who wants to be wooed into buying something. Granted, it doesn't take much to woo me (Example conversation: Salesperson - If you buy three million candy bars, you get one free. Me - I'm so in! What happens if I buy four million?) So I've know for a while that Target gives you off a few cents off your purchase anytime you use your reusable bags and I planned on getting one from them. When I went to the store one early morning about 9 months ago, I had planned on getting a reusable bag. As I went to check out, the salesgirl asked me if I wanted to purchase a reusable bag. Now this doesn't seem like a big deal but when she asked me, she acted so annoyed that she even had to ask me about the reusable bags that I wanted to say. "No, in fact. I'm trying to kill the planet as fast as I possibly can. In fact, could you double bag everything just to be sure?" I wish I would have taken a video of her saying that so you could get the full effect of her annoyance.

So what did the salesperson do this time to woo me? She simply said, "Do you want to purchase a reusable bag today? It gives you five cents off each time you use it." Great job at wooing saleslady. I hope to purchase from you again. Now 'the planet can thank me' and I can 'go green' as my new bags say.

Also, I had my eyes dilated for the first time earlier today. I don't think I'll be able to make fun of people who wear sunglasses in the store as easily anymore because I couldn't see without them on. Also, that's the closest I ever want to be feeling high without actually being high.

I look like a creeper.

I Think I Play Game

So over Easter weekend, my family and I decided to play a little Wii Sports Resort. After getting nailed in the head by my little brother with a remote during a sword fighting game, my sisters decided to try out the canoeing game. Now I'm sure that many of you know that people can look ridiculous, but here is my family's proof of looking ridiculous while playing a game that involves a motion sensor. I hope you all enjoy the ridiculousness.

There really isn't that much sound until the end when they're racing to the finish.

'I've just had an apostrophe....' 'I believe you mean an epiphany'

So, I bought an iPhone this last week mostly because I could and I have been eyeing my brother's since he got his. So although you can play music on an iPhone, I'm paranoid about running out the battery when I listen to music before I go to bed and that my alarm on the phone won't go off so I've been using my old iPod to listen to my tunes before I go to sleep. So in my bed at any one time while I'm sleeping is at least $500 of electronics. Interesting.

Because I can

Because I actually felt like eating after being sick for a week, this was my dinner a few nights ago.

If only I had actually been able to finish it all...

To blog... that would be a great adventure

So, I've decided that I need to start blogging. Not necessarily that I have the most interesting things to say, but I would like a place to post my thoughts. So we'll see how this goes. I hope I'm able to come up with some entertaining posts for you to read. The plan is not for this to be a journal but a place for me to share my random thoughts from the day. Such as this: I bought the first season of the TV show 24 and it had an offer for a free t-shirt. Being the fan of free stuff that I am, I got online an ordered the shirt. I got it in the mail about 2 days later.

Now my phone is a little bigger than a credit card just to give you size reference, so my thought is, why on earth did they have to make the shirt this small just to ship it to me? Wouldn't it have been cheaper just to fold it up and ship it to me that way? Interesting...